The Older Years

Since my health has gotten bad,
I've had fun that I've never had.

I've gotten a chance to be lazy,
But those hospital beds drive me crazy.

I've met sad and jolly nurses
Who work hard to keep people from hearses.

I've met doctors who stay up all night
Working hard to keep you upright.

Thinking you might pass in the OR
Makes you want to be in the b-b-bar.

I've made new friends by the dozen.
Some I've found to be really buzzin'.

I've met night gowns with open backs,
Apparently sewn by night gown quacks.

I've had bandages where they shouldn't be.
I know not only God is watching me.

Beware of your old wheel chair ride.
Bet the Xray's getting a look inside.

They draw your blood to see how you're doin'.
While they're trying to keep your body from bluein'.

Tubes and wires strap you down
What ever they're doin' will bring a frown.

Being bound isn't really cool
So they know how to soften your stool.

Have number one and a number two
Son of a gun, they just might release you.

Has your stay been like the Motel 6
Where they leave the light on for tricks?

Or, has it been like the Executive Inn
Where your meals are fit for diving in?

Reading the bill was a hell of a job.
It was tough to hold back tears and not sob.

Next time, I'm not pushing my lifealert.
I realize, I've just lost my only shirt.